Five Things that Steal Your Joy

16  3 min

We all seek happiness, not knowing it does not simply await us at an undisclosed location, presented on a silver platter. Happiness depends on our own actions. It eludes those who always do things the hard way, who do not take care of themselves, and do not meet their own needs. Today, it seems, we are unhappier than ever before.

Can you relate to this? Does joy elude you?

If you want to reawaken your happiness, to bring it back to your life, you can do the following five things:

• • Don’t pretend to be an octopus! You are a woman, not a sea creature with eight arms. You cannot take responsibility for so many things! Don’t try to juggle your personal tasks and your family obligations, and your career, and your social life… on your own. Let others help. Don’t overstress. You cannot do everything at 100%, and you do not even have to try. Doing so is futile and drains your energy.
  • Be generous with yourself. I am certain you all work hard to provide for your families. You do your best. However, you should not forget to be generous with yourself. Pamper yourself! Award yourself with a little something: it does not have to be expensive—it just has to bring you joy. Give yourself something that pleases your soul, that recharges your feminine energy. You can, for example, get your nails done. You could buy yourself flowers or your favorite ice cream. You can do your favorite sport or spend time alone, walking in nature. Reading a book, going to a massage, and getting a facial are three more things you can do.

• Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others depletes your confidence and makes you insecure. If you do it often enough, you start doubting your qualities and your skills, which leads you to underestimate yourself. This, by the way, is a recipe for disaster in the long term. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be a size 4, and you do not have to have a given familial or social status. You’re enough the way you are! You possess beauty and brains. You possess light, merely because you were born a woman.
• Eliminate your addictions. Many of my clients come to me with the following problem: they’ve developed an addiction. They’re addicted to food, coffee, cigarettes—or to other people. Their addiction binds their happiness to something external. Don’t let addictions control you. Learn that you need to be happy with yourself, to cherish and trust yourself.
• Set boundaries. Agreeable people often struggle to set boundaries. Many of us were never thought about how to stand our ground! If you don’t feel like going for dinner with a friend, then do not do it! If you don’t want to work over the weekend, then do not do it! If someone asks you to do something, and your initial reaction is to sigh, just say “No!”

1. Do you want me to help you reawaken your feminine joy?
2. Do you want to shine with happiness and lightness?
3. Do you want men to be attracted to you?
4. Do you want to find a balance between giving and receiving?

Join my unique courses Geisha 1 and Geisha 2 and learn how to do these things. It is up to you to become the woman you’ve always wished to be.

Love,

Natalia Kobylkina
Psychologist, family therapist, author
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