My dearest ones,
Do you feel as if you’re not enough? Do you feel as if you’re not a good mother? Do you doubt your parenting skills and maternal instincts? Do you compare yourself to other mothers? Do you feel that no matter how hard you aim for perfection, you always fall short of your ideals?
Here are some of the most common mistakes mothers make:
1. They try to protect their children at all costs. Many mothers worry that their children are sad, cold, or hungry, even when that’s far from true. Mothers who only have one child can easily become overprotective. Remember: a mother’s goal is not to protect her childer but to equip them with the skills and knowledge they need to protect themselves. If a mother fails to do so, her children will become infantile and unable to cope with life itself.
2. They put their children under too much stress. Many mothers dread the mornings. As they rush for work, they tend to rush their sleepy children, too, not giving them enough time to wake up or get ready. Children experience a great dose of stress in such situations. Their nervous systems “declare an emergency stress,” making them even slower! This, in turn, drives moms nuts!
3. They yell at their children for no reason. Children often anger us. They test our nerves! That’s, however, absolutely normal. They are children, after all, and they don’t know what we know. Our task as parents is to stay calm and show our children what’s the right thing to do.
4. They neglect their children. Although all mothers want to be good mothers, not all manage to do so. Many struggle to understand the needs of their children. We simply do not recognize the signs they give us! When our children need love or attention, we should not just buy them a new toy; rather, we should acknowledge that need and find a way to spend some quality time with our little ones.
I, myself, have had my fair dose of struggle since becoming a mother. I know motherhood is anything but easy. I know it makes us question our actions and our behaviours daily. Even more so, I know it pushes us — and our patience — to our absolute limits.
When I don’t know what to do with my son, I choose to speak with psychologists who know what’s best for my child. I, therefore, advise you to do the same. Welcome to my course Happy Mother, Happy Child. Become a real, happy mother today!
Love,
Natalia Kobylkina
Psychologist, family therapist, author
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