The Wounds of the Soul

17  3 min

You know… I sometimes feel like a doctor—a doctor of the soul. Many of my clients flock to me, seeking a solution to a certain issue. I can quickly come up with a solution JUST BECAUSE I understand the roots of their problems, which are embedded within their soul’s wounds.

These are wounds we can neither see nor touch. They impact all areas of our lives without us even realizing it.

Yet, how did we get wounded in the first place?

Over the years, our experiences have shaped our personality and our behaviour. Some of these experiences have taught us love, confidence, care, empathy, and so on. Others, however, have been rather painful and traumatic. And, worse, the wounds we did not heal these wounds on time became entangled with our souls, giving them a rusty edge.

Where do these wounds originate from?

• • Narcissistic People: Narcissists are known for their arrogance, strictness, and manipulative behaviour. They like to control everything. They also believe they’re never at fault. Narcissists feel superior to others, often exploiting their partners, friends, and relatives. If you’ve had a significant relationship, whether romantic, professional, or familial, with a narcissist, it’s certainly wounded your soul.
  • Physical or emotional abuse. In case you’ve fallen prey to physical or emotional abuse, you must understand that your soul is wounded. Wounds that originate from abuse are among the hardest to treat and heal.
  • Dependence on the opinions of others. There’s nothing wrong with trying to leave a good impression. However, when making a good impression turns into your sole purpose, you can rest assured you’ve got a problem on your hands. You cannot live with the goal to meet the expectations of others! No matter how hard your friends, family, and colleagues try to impose their opinions and expectations on you, you must always live according to your worldview and expectations rather than theirs.

• Guilt over past mistakes. We all make mistakes, whether by hurting or by betraying others. We tend to feel a deep sense of blame when we recognise our mistakes. This is absolutely normal and not that problematic. The problem arises the second we become unable to forgive ourselves. That’s when we begin punishing ourselves. That’s when we willingly adopt the belief that we don’t deserve anything good. This belief becomes rooted in our unconscious mind, leading us to make poor choices (in regard to our partners and our career, amongst others).
• Comparing yourself with others. Comparing yourself to others, especially on social media, leads people to experience a ton of negative emotions—and to establish an entirely flawed understanding of the world. By comparing yourself to others, you not only start living with the thought you’re not enough, but you also invite self-doubt into your life. You tell yourself that other people are prettier, happier, and more successful than me.
• Loss. If you’ve experienced loss, including theft, abortion, or the death of a loved one, you have probably gone through lots of pain and fear, especially the fear of losing everything you have. You have grown controlling as a result.
• Infidelity. This leads to sadness, suffering, pain, and anger. It can lead you to lose faith in love and feel a great dose of betrayal. You ask yourself, “what does she/he have?” You may have lost your ability to trust others.

If you want to heal the wounds of your soul;

If you want to feel confident, happy, and worthy;

If you want to put your wings back on and have more self-love;

If you want to dream more and establish a brand new life;

If you want to change your personal story;

WELCOME TO GEISHA ONE AND GEISHA TWO HERE.

My clients often separate their lives into two periods: before and after Geisha!

Now you can do that, too!

Love,
Natalia Kobylkina
Psychologist, family therapist, author
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