6 3 min
I often hear women say, “I am strong. That’s why I am single. Men dislike my strength, my strong character, and stay away from me.” These women then note, “Men are weak. They’re mama’s boys… I don’t want to deal with them. I’d much rather work, as this makes me a lot happier.”
I disagree with that statement. A woman’s strength is not—and will never be—the reason she’s single. A woman’s pride, selfishness, workaholism, and arrogance are far more likely to cause unhappiness and prevent women from having fruitful relationships with men. The issue with strength is that… it is directly related to our ego.
- We all have an EGO and a HEART.
- Our EGOs demand things. They demand to be right. They demand to control your actions and thoughts.
- Our EGOs also insult and hurt—us and others. Led by the desire to be right, to remain proud, they can become reckless. They’re unable to compromise. They always wish to win. Women who are controlled by their EGO, for instance, often say things like “I am the best. I am amazing. I am always right, even if that will lead me to remain single and alone.”
Women with huge egos attract men with huge hearts. Such men can accept proud women and tolerate all their egotistical demands. These men are soft, loving, accepting, forgiving. They’re always willing to compromise. Women compare these men to a woman. He’s not a woman.
He’s merely a man with a huge heart.
If you want a man with a huge EGO, which, in its male sense means power, security, authority, coldness, success, you should become a woman with a huge HEART. It is the huge heart that demands the greatest strength.
Having a huge heart requires you to be forgiving—to accept that your man can sometimes yell or fuss around, just because he’s tired of fighting male battles. The pressure and stress have made him irritable.
Only women with huge hearts can listen to their men, cook them dinner, and hug them—even when these men are anything but calm or caring at that moment. These women know not to ask unnecessary questions. They know when to let their men rest. Women with huge hearts seek strength and wisdom within. They learn to love themselves, rather than to constantly expect their men to prove their love.
Only women with huge hearts can forgive a man for the fact that he is not always an amazing, ideal husband and father. Only these women can recognize their men’s efforts and desire to do better. These women teach men how to love, bringing out the best of them.
It is for this reason that Gabriel Garcia Marquez noted, “I love you not for whom you are, but who I am when I’m by your side.”
My dearest ladies, be strong. Let your heart guide you. My heart remained closed for many years, and I did not allow myself to love or to be loved. Milan Karmeli was the person who helped me open my heart. He simply gazed into my eyes with his deep, good eyes, touched my heart, and I began to cry. That’s when, for the first time in years, I realized I was being led by my ego. Milan worked with me, helping me heal my heart.
Knowing how much that changed my life, I decided to learn his strategy and create a course to help you open your own hearts. You can find your heart. You can reconnect with your heart. What matters is that you choose to follow it, to let it guide you, to let yourself feel.
And, please remember, men are not afraid of our strength. They’re afraid of our indifference, of our coldness. They’re afraid of being lied to and betrayed.
Be careful with the hearts of men, as they’re so easily breakable.
Love,
Natalia Kobylkina
Psychologist, family therapist, author
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