In my practice, I often meet people who live with dependent partners and they themselves suffer dependency without realizing it.
Many people don’t even suspect that they have some form of dependency.
Take this test to determine if you are really a dependent person. For each answer with “yes” put 1 point.
- I often feel bad or sad for no reason and I can’t change it. I can’t control my emotions.
- I often tell myself: IF… My partner loves me more, stops drinking, has more money, etc., THEN I will be very happy, calm…
- I take offense easily and believe that people are not fair to me and don’t give me enough.
- I wonder how it’s possible to be such a good person and such bad things happen to me.
- I often experience unhappy and unrequited love, I feel used and deceived.
- I don’t have enough money, energy, love – I am always missing something.
- I like to look at horoscopes, I like to get card readings – I am always looking to find out when I will have a better life and when I will meet the ideal partner.
- I love to eat, I love sweets, wine, cigarettes, drugs, social media, I am a workaholic, I save people – or at least 1 thing on this list is very important to me.
- I often experience an inferiority complex and therefore find it difficult to raise the prices of my services, or I don’t know how to state my standards in a relationship.
- I expect a miracle to finally come and my life, my partner, and my loved ones to change.
- I attract problematic and dependent people into my life (problems with alcohol, drugs, psychopaths, unemployed and purposeless, weak-willed, obsessed with their parents, married or cheating).
0 points – If none of these apply to you – congratulations! You are a mentally and probably a physically healthy person.
From 0 to 5 points – you are loyal to one of your parents to suffer and periodically become codependent, but quite often you manage to get out of this co-dependence. The problem is that you don’t always understand how exactly you do it, and if your partner is too important to you, you become codependent.
More than 5 points – You are a dependent personality type and you need therapy!