101 2 min
Very often, we choose to act in a way that others expect of us, rather than as we truly desire. We play the role of the good boy/girl while accumulating dissatisfaction, resentment, and even anger inside because the life we desire is not the one we’re living. The result is that we find ourselves stuck in the same script, our problems repeat, and we build defensive walls, accumulating obstacles, and even falling ill.
How can we finally break free from these chains and be ourselves, happy and independent?
Here are my 5 ways:
Don’t Seek Approval from Others:
How often do we try to please others (parents, friends, partners, bosses, or colleagues)? How often do we do what they want to avoid problems and conflicts? We torment ourselves wondering what others will think if we act according to our true desires. Remember, everything has its limits. It’s okay to help or serve someone occasionally, but first and foremost, you should think about yourself and how you feel about things. There will always be people who approve of your actions and like you, and others who don’t. Is it their life or yours?
Know Yourself:
Do you truly know who you are? Since childhood, we have been molded to be what society wants from us. We’ve imitated others, wanting to be like them, etc. Hence, as adults, we may have lost our authentic essence. The easiest way to find out who you are is to allow yourself to be spontaneous and see what happens. Pursue hobbies that you love and bring you joy. Try new things until you figure out what’s truly yours.
Take Pride in Who You Are:
Once you’ve understood who you truly are, it’s important to accept yourself, no matter how quirky and different you might be. Each person is unique and carries a bit of madness, a bit of nonconformity. Don’t judge yourself, don’t be negative towards your essence. On the contrary, embrace it and love it. Stop doubting yourself or comparing yourself to others. You are who you are. Be confident in your inner self!
Forgive Yourself:
We all make mistakes, and the worst thing you can do is punish yourself for not doing something perfectly. Forgive yourself for being negative, for saying something without thinking, for messing something up, etc. Afterward, learn from your mistakes, seek solutions to problems, or figure out how to do better next time.
Strive for What You Want to Achieve:
Being yourself doesn’t mean staying where you are and not changing anything about yourself or your life. If you truly want something (for yourself, not for others), strive to achieve it. Improve and develop yourself.
If you want to truly engage with this world and the people in it, come join
With love,
Natalia Kobylkina
