The Perfect Family: its 7 Myths and Legends

20  3 min

Social media, books, and movies have established a certain reputation for the perfect family. They’ve crafted a strict image that families must fit into – or they won’t be deemed perfect!

We (foolishly) believe that once we find the right person, everything will be fine.

We will feel calm and satisfied. We’ll never be unhappy ever again!

We will raise one or two children together, and then age happily and harmoniously.

Yet, this idealized image is soon shattered by reality. We experience a great dose of disappointment with love. We feel that we’ve failed. We start feeling as if something is inherently wrong with us and our relationship.

The truth is that the perfect family does not exist. We all have problems with our partners, children, and relatives. All families go through ups and downs.

This is why I will share 7 myths about the perfect family. Stop believing in these myths right away!

• • Happiness and harmony originate within. Even the best couples have to work on themselves and their relationships. You must develop yourselves and move forward!
  • Happy families don’t have conflicts. Every family has disagreements and conflicts. The difference is that while healthy families overcome these conflicts, unhealthy ones do not.
  • Problems come only from within the family. You would be surprised at how many external factors (such as other people, situations, and events) can impact your relationship. Financial difficulties, curious in-laws, cheating, and job issues are all external factors that may harm your connection.
  • Children ruin romantic relationships. Children are something wonderful, but they’re also a test for every relationship. The first year after the birth of a child is always a difficult period for couples. It’s a period that includes a ton of sleepless nights, insufficient energy, and lack of time. Partners also argue about their parenting approach!

• He/she will change, and the problem will go away on its own. We often lie to ourselves, thinking our partner will change for the better even if we see no signs this could ever happen. Or, we face problems as a couple but, instead of joining forces, we bury our heads in the sand and hope the problem goes away. It won’t!
• If I don’t feel happy, I must be with the wrong partner. If your relationship is going through a crisis, this does not mean it’s your partner’s fault. Your partner does not have to make you happy all the time, meeting your every need and giving your life a sense of meaning. Take your happiness into your own hands.
• Therapy is the last chance at a good relationship before the divorce. I meet many couples who wait until their relationship breaks down to finally go to therapy. You should make this step a whole lot sooner! Even if your problems do not seem that big, it’s good for you to attend family therapy every now and then. Family therapy is a way to learn new tools for overcoming challenges. It will help you make your relationship better, happier, and more harmonious.

Is your family struggling right now? If so, what is its greatest problem?
How can you overcome moments of crisis?
When should you stay together and try to change?
Can you change both yourself and your partner?

If you want to learn more about establishing a happy relationship, becoming a worthy partner, and finding a high-value partner, check out our upcoming course How to Change Your Partner and Receive Financial Support, Loyalty, and Care!

Love,
Natalia Kobylkina
Psychologist, family therapist, author
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