You postpone – If you are prone to delay for a long time the realizations of your dreams and plunging into new endeavors led by the idea that you are not prepared enough yet, you don’t have all the action tools, this means you are probably a victim of your perfectionism. The more you dig into a topic, the more you learn and the more things to know appear. In this sense, you are never fully prepared. Remember, even the most insignificant action is more than the greatest intention.
You go into the details – I agree that they can fascinate and make your end product memorable, but remember that the essential thing is to have a product.
You begin to do something only if you are convinced that you will do the best you can. Accept that there will always be better than you in at least one aspect of what you do. Let the goal not be to fight for superiority with others, but to become better every day. I repeat – to be better, not perfect.
You say to yourself “I could have done better” – Instead of competing with your huge personal expectations, stop for a moment and pay tribute to what has been achieved, congratulate yourself on victory, however small it may be. So, instead of fighting windmills, you will carry with you the feeling of being a winner. Once you have accomplished certain things, you will be able to overcome what awaits you along the way.
Fear of failure – When the hint of doubt eats you up and prevents you from going on, stop and ask yourself “What is the worst / scariest thing that can happen if I fail in this?” The answer would be barely something that you have no chance of overcoming.
You see obstacles between you and your goal – When someone tells me about their dreams, I usually ask him what is stopping him from having what he wants. The answers are very diverse, but usually contain an explanation of the type “I can’t do B before A” – I can’t do sports until I change jobs, I can’t travel until kids are older, etc. Starting to analyze the obstacles in question, it turns out that there is a way to overcome them, or they have no direct connection to the dream. Remember that when a person stands up and walks in his direction, the universe helps him.
You’re exhausted – Have you seen a flower that blooms all the time? And why don’t you give yourself a chance to recharge your batteries? You will never be able to relax if perfectionism leads you to the next achievement.
You make perfection an excuse – Imagine looking for an apartment for a long time, looking at hundreds, but each one has its drawbacks, so you continue to live in a rented studio apartment. With every choice we get something and we lose another. If we are maximalists, we greatly limit our capabilities.
I wish you a healthy pursuit of excellence which is your drive!
Psychologist, family therapist, author
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