17  3 min
“He is wonderful,” she said dreamily. “Nice, gentle, tireless in bed. We have only one problem, I am 40 and he is 27. Is that normal?”
In front of me was sitting a very well-dressed female, she was driving a new car, she had a child and a divorce, and now she wanted to live for herself.
“And what bothers you?” I asked her.
“Um, what will people say and why is he with me?” There are so many beautiful young women, why did he choose me, the woman of 40?
Why do men choose older women? First of all, because the older woman knows what she wants. She is no longer a little girl who is confused and just going through her life. This is a mature lady who has come a long way and is aware of what she can and cannot do.
Second of all, this raises the young man’s status and self-esteem. The older woman knows exactly what she has to say and do to make him feel the most wonderful man in the world.
Of course she is better in bed. Sexual experience comes with age, and the woman becomes truly relaxed in bed after the age of 30. She already knows exactly how she orgasms and is ready for experiments. She wants to try something new and is even ready to train and share interesting knowledge about sex.
Fourth, having a woman over 30-40 is very interesting and teaches a lot. Men who want development can learn a lot from her. She has developed a career, travels often and knows a lot. If a young man with potential falls into her hands, very often he quickly becomes quite successful thanks to this woman.
Fifth, men who have an unresolved problem with their mother often choose a woman who is older than themselves. In this way he learns to contact an older woman and receives the necessary tenderness and love from her.
As you can see, there are many reasons why men choose older women.
However, why do women choose younger men?
He is sexually tireless. Unfortunately, it’s a sad fact, but every third man after 40 years of age sometimes has erection problems and every seventh has persistent problems. And sexual activity in the woman starts at the age of 35! Just when she’s ready for active sex – her partner can’t have that much sex, and of course then the young man with eternal erection wins all the points.
He is fun and wants to experiment. A woman of this age (35 and above) wants to try something new. She no longer has something to lose, she no longer cares what people will say, now she wants to live for herself and enjoy herself. Because it is well known that if not now, when? Young men are very happy to respond to this call.
He listens to her and admires her. Whatever we say, as we approach the 40s, women begin to worry about their bodies. And at that moment, this complete adoration from our partner is coming just in time! We want him to admire us and to tell us how much he loves us and the feeling that the young man wants us sharply raises our confidence.
I can remake him the way I want. When you enter into a relationship with a man of 50, you have almost no chance of making any changes in him. He is already a formed personality. While the young man can become whoever you want. He is still flexible and open, and often after a few years with an older woman, he becomes a truly perfect man.
He makes you feel younger. Perhaps this is the biggest advantage. Young men make us re-enter this energy of youth, sports, sex, carelessness, madness. And this is such a wonderful thing for an overly strict and serious lady and through it you can have a very long young and beautiful life.
So, as you can see, having a younger man is so natural and to tell you the truth as a therapist – many women want it, but many of them do not have the guts. With these topics we work in therapeutic groups, you can check the program on Kobylkina.com and in the Happy Woman “Geisha-1” seminar. Find your happiness and don’t let others dictate your terms and conditions! Your happiness is in your hands!
Psychologist, family therapist, author
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