Online Dating: Rules & Mistakes

1  3 min

Many of us struggle to find time for dating. This has made online dating increasingly common. Yet, in order to make online dating and, specifically, pre-dating, more effective, there are some things you need to know:

1.     Choose the RIGHT picture. It’s no secret that men are drawn to beautiful women. That’s why everything starts with choosing the right photo. The best, most suitable photos accentuate your best physical traits and conceal your weaknesses. Also, make sure to post a photo that reflects your goal. If you want to find a friend with benefits, post a bikini photo! If you want a serious relationship, make sure to use a picture that paints you as a wife-to-be. Make sure you’re smiling! Smiles put men at ease and ease their anxiety. Remember: most men fear rejection. Don’t have more than 5 or 6 pictures on your dating profile. Don’t risk tiring potential partners or boring them with too many photos. Update your pictures every now and then. Also, please do not use photos from a photoshoot. They are unnatural—and they make you appear unreachable. It’s harder to approach a beautiful woman than it is to approach an attractive one.

2.     Formulate a goal and create the desired image! When filling out the initial forms a dating app asks you to complete, make sure to understand what type of men you are looking for. Then, consider what women these men would be drawn to. It would be good if you shared a cool fact about yourselves—such as, for example, your love of chess or your tendency to spill your coffee on your coach. The goal here is to stand out. Don’t give too much information. Build a bright, laconic image. Use your bio to compel men but not to give out too much. Intrigue them. Hint at a topic for further conversations. Don’t say anything about alcohol or drugs.

3.     Schedule a date within a week of your first conversation. Conversing with a man online for prolonged periods of time does not lead anywhere. Time is your most precious resource. So, as soon as you find an interesting person, schedule a date! Share you rarely meet people as interesting as they are!

4.     Speak on FaceTime or on the phone before you go on a date. A person’s voice will give you 50% of the information you need to know about them. Sometimes a conversation like this makes going on a date futile. You know you’re not into the other person. Here are some tips: if you like that person’s voice, point it out. Try to speak slowly, quietly, almost as if you’re whispering. Use words that have a double meaning—as well as words that are rigged with sensual tension. Try, for example, “wet,” “deep,” “spread,” “pleasure,” “orgasmic,” etc. Don’t reveal the entirety of your life in your calls. Emphasize your commonalities. If both you and your person like tennis, point it out! “We both enjoy playing tennis!”

5.     Plan your first date. The first date is crucial. It determines the success of your future relationship. Therefore, the first date should be well-planned. Meet at a place that’s relatively easy to find and not overly luxurious. Don’t dress in an overtly provocative manner. Wear clothes that highlight your best sides. Be sincere—as honest as you can be! Don’t pose too many questions; this is not an interview. Ask questions that evoke pleasant memories. You can talk about trips, achievements, and hobbies. Display your admiration for your date. Men lack female admiration and adoration. As long as you give it to them, you will leave a good impression and make them ask you out again!

6.     Intrigue him. Don’t share too much. Say less than necessary. Leave your sentences open-ended. Do something atypical! Run barefoot or step into the fountain. Imagine you’re a child. Both men and women feel drawn to the child-like. In the company of a child-like woman, men feel a sense of superiority, which urges them to act chivalrously and protect her.

7.     Don’t prolong your first date. The first date should leave you with a certain sense of “hunger.” Leave craving more! To do so, make sure your date lasts no longer than 2 hours. How do you know when it’s time to leave? Notice when you start running out of topics. As soon as awkward silence starts to set in, reach for your bag and politely excuse yourselves. Here’s the secret to a successful date: leave at its peak. In this way, you will make men think about you and plan a second date as soon as possible.

To learn more about the fine art of online dating, welcome to my course How to Meet the Perfect Man Online and Establish a Good Relationship! Sign up here.

Enjoy dating!

With love,

Natalia Kobylkina