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Very often we choose to do what others expect from us rather than what we really want. We play the role of the good boy/girl, while dissatisfaction, resentment, and even anger accumulate inside us because we do not want such a life. The result is that we are in the same scenario, our problems are recurring, and we are building firewalls, accumulating blockages, and we may even get sick.
How do we finally break the chains and be ourselves, happy and independent?
Here are my 5 ways:
- Don`t seek the approval of others
- How often do we try to please others (parents, friends, partners, bosses, or colleagues), how often do we do what they want so we don’t create problems and make scandals. We worry about what others will think of us if we do what we really want to do.
- Remember that everything has its limits. It’s not bad to help or to do a favor sometimes, but above all, you have to think about yourself and how you feel.
- There will always be people who will approve of your actions and like you, and others who will not. Is this their life or yours?
- Get to know yourself
- Do you really know who you are? Ever since our childhood we have been influenced by what society wants us to be, we ourselves have imitated someone, wanting to be like him, etc. That is why we often lose our authentic selves as adults.
- The easiest way to find out who you are is to allow yourself to be spontaneous and see what happens. Look for hobbies that you love and that bring you happiness. Try new things until you know what’s yours.
- Be proud of who you are
- Once we understand who we really are, the important thing is to accept ourselves, no matter how crazy and different we may be. Each person is unique and has a dose of madness, a dose of non-standard.
- Do not judge yourself, do not be negative about your essence. On the contrary, accept it and love it. Stop doubting yourself or comparing yourself to others. You are what you are. Be confident in your inner self!
- Forgive yourself
- We all make mistakes, and the worst thing you can do is punish yourself for something you didn’t do in the best way. Forgive yourself for being negative, for saying something without thinking, for making a mistake, and so on. Then learn from your mistakes, look for a solution to the problem or figure out how to do better next time.
- Strive for what you want to achieve
- Being yourself does not mean staying where you are and not changing anything in yourself or your life. If you really want something (you, not others), they strive to achieve it, self-improve yourself, and develop.
Psychologist, family therapist, author
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