Being yourself is only feasible once you’ve accepted your shadow. No one can escape their shadow. Many spend a lifetime in their shadow, not going beyond it for even a moment. The shadow contains all the qualities, aspects, and thoughts we deny–everything we don’t permit ourselves to be. Yet, it manifests in moments charged with emotions, leaving us surprised with our own actions.
Those who don’t allow themselves to integrate their shadow into their personality lead lives of limitation. They suppress their energy and consequently fail to materialize their dreams!
Unhappy people who experience depression, panic attacks, and psychiatric illnesses fall into this category.
People who are too spiritual and neglect the material world (and its pleasures) fall into this category. They often live without sex and struggle with gynaecological issues.
Women who control men and prove their strength and competence fall into their category. So do single, career-oriented women.
Women who try to control their husbands and children fall into this category.
Let me give you an example. A lady booked a session with me. Married to an unemployed alcoholic, she had a four-year-old boy. She worked 18 hours per day. Her husband, on the other hand, slothed away.
My client’s mother had lived the exact same way. My client had consequently grown to resent her father. That’s how she entered the shadow of the victim. She had rejected her father and begun hating men! Well, guess what? She only ever attracted men who were exactly like her father. She then repressed her anger, coming to exhibit symptoms of depression. Even so, her love for her child saved her from plunging into a deep state of despair; she, after all, had to take care of her son!
My client and I worked on integrating her shadow into her personality. She filed for divorce soon after. And her divorce happened a whole lot more easily than she expected it to (because she had faced and integrated her shadow).
A month after, she met a new man. Responsible, free, strong, and successful, this guy was what she had dreamed of! She kept meeting with me and working on maintaining her new relationship and avoiding past mistakes. Just a year later, she got married and gave birth to her second child.
My client and her second husband have been together for years. They’ve travelled the world, and they continue to do so. She works 8 hours per week, dedicating the remaining time to her family and to giving herself pleasure. I have hundreds of similar examples. Don’t settle for what you have!
