Often I hear from women: I am a strong woman and that’s why I have no man, men do not like my strength and run away. And then they add: In general, men are weak, they are not capable to do anything and they are mummy’s boys. Oh …I better work, that makes me happier.
I absolutely do not agree with the fact that the woman’s strength prevents you from having a happy relationship. The woman’s selfishness, her narcissism, excessive commitment to work hinders, low sexuality prevent that, and not her strength.
However, the problem is exactly with the strength, it acquires all these problematic qualities that generally come from our EGO.
The Ego and the Heart live in each of us.
- The ego imposes and requires.
- The ego wants to be right.
- The ego constantly explains what you have to do.
- The ego attacks and hurts.
- The Ego crushes only because you have taken the decision.
- The ego does not know how to retreat and make compromises.
- The ego wants to win and show that I am the best, even if I am left alone.
A woman with a big Ego attracts a man with a big Heart who can accept her with all the requirements of her Ego. But he is soft, he is loving, he is forgiving, he is yielding, he is caring. Women often say that he is like a woman. However, he is not like a woman. He is just a man with a big heart.
If you want to have a man with a big Ego (which in the man’s world means strength, determination, harshness, hardness, success) then it is important for you to become a woman with a big heart. And exactly the very big Heart requires strength.
It requires strength to forgive and to understand that sometimes he yells, that he is extremely tired of men’s fights and his pressure is too much. Only a woman with a big Heart would just listen to him, offer him a delicious dinner, and give him a hug. Only a woman with a big Heart would not ask uncomfortable questions and let him rest. Only a woman with a big Heart would find in herself the strength and wisdom to love herself and not to expect constantly proof of his love.
Only a strong woman with a big Heart would forgive that he is not always the perfect husband and father, but he really tries. Only a woman with a big Heart would teach him how to love and make him the best version of himself. It is no accident that Gabriel Garcia Marquez says: I love you, not because of who I am, but because when I am with you I become completely different. And I didn’t even know I could be that good.
My favorite woman, be strong. But let the Heart guide you.
Psychologist, family therapist, author
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