[vc_row el_class=”page-row”][vc_column][vc_column_text]Before talking about the psychological reasons for the lack of orgasm, we should make sure there are no physiological reasons for that. If she can reach a climax through masturbation, this means she has no physiological problems and should work on those in her head.
And here is what the reasons in her head could be:
1. Inability to relax with her partner. Lack of trust in him – if she doesn’t trust the man she is with, she can’t let him bring her to an orgasm and witness her having it.
2. Fears: fear of getting pregnant, fear of catching a disease, fear of surrendering to him and losing her boundaries, fear that her face might not look pretty during an orgasm, fear of intimacy.
3. Incorrect breathing (proper breathing during sex is always through the mouth and ideally the breath of the two partners should be synchronized).
4. The conditions are not right (if there are other people around or the bed is very uncomfortable, if it is too cold or too hot, etc.)
5. Having self-esteem issues and feeling insecure about her body (worrying that there might be an unpleasant odour, that she is having her period at that moment, that her belly is too fat, that her breasts don’t look beautiful).
6. Strict or repressive upbringing where sex was considered dirty and bad (usually the mother never achieved orgasms and she told her daughter that it was normal and it was just our fate as women).
7. Lack of self-acceptance and lack of information about herself and her body – fear of experiencing female ejaculation (squirting), which she considers to be involuntary urination, lack of information about what is happening to her during an orgasm.
8. Negative past experience – often if the partner was inexperienced or did not put an effort into making it pleasurable for the woman, she decides that sex is something unpleasant and meant only for men to enjoy.
9. If she knows that it’s just a one-night stand – she doesn’t take her partner seriously and she doesn’t perceive him as someone she could open herself to because orgasm is something quite intimate.
10. She thinks too much about her orgasm and tries too hard to reach it.
11. The partner comes too quickly (within 5 minutes) and he needs help with delaying his ejaculation.